“I don’t like being photographed”

This week I went on vacation to Mexico City, and something funny happened, because I felt like I was coming back home. I had described something similar to this feeling in an old entry of my previous Spanish blog, in which I wrote about how I felt going back to Guanajuato while I was living in Mexico City, ha ha ha (here’s the entry I am referring to: https://yitsjimenez.wordpress.com/2013/05/21/la-falsa-guanajuatense/ )

Some of you might remember I lived in Mexico City for about 5 years, and I was very happy while living there – I made lots of friends, some of whom became almost part of my family, like Vero Beltrán and Sandra Catzin (you guys, I love you so very much!!!); I reencountered some pre-existing friends, like Karina Novoa who is one of my dearest and longest accomplices, partner in crime and support in every situation; I almost closed my company and then got to see the reactivation of it, getting some of my biggest clients over there; my oldest daughter was born over there… I mean, those were 5 years in a very active city. Lots of things were bound to happen and I enjoyed the whole experience from beginning to end.

My daughter was barely one year old when we left Mexico City, so she has no recollection at all of the city, and of course, my boy wasn´t even born, so taking them over there on vacation was a very rewarding experience for me. I was aware we were going to do only a limited amount of activities, and I had to stick to kid-friendly activities, which is OK – I hope life will give me the chance to take them back some day in the future, and be able to show them how beautiful, rich and amazing Mexico City is as they grow and are old enough to enjoy new experiences, like going to museums, eating new things, visiting places I wouldn’t visit nowadays whether because I cannot walk around holding their hands and even pulling my 4-year-old around because he’s still too young and he gets tired almost immediately when it comes to walking.

I found myself having the same conversation twice this week, and telling both Vero and Karina that I used to hate being photographed, because, let’s face it, I’m not a model, my eyes are sort of crooked, I am not in love with myself and I don’t particularly enjoy my self-image and [insert any other lame excuse here], but the truth is, by telling myself I didn’t like being photographed, I missed the opportunity to take my picture with many people I love in many special situations, thinking “I would remember that moment and I didn’t need to be photographed,” but as one grows old, one realizes the only left in life are our memories – good or bad, ugly or pretty, fat or thin, well groomed or without a spec of makeup… our time on this earth becomes nothing but memories.

Once I realized that, I started taking pictures with my friends, family members and loved ones every time I had the chance, not even wanting to post them online… just with the intention of having something to remember a certain time we ate together, we visited a certain place, we celebrated anything. I’m not a model, people know that. When they see me in person, people know that! So they are not expecting to see me taking breathtaking pictures – that is one of the reasons why I am a complete enemy of using any sort of filter in my photographs. What you see is what you get. Period.

So, I appreciate it when people agree to have their photograph taken with me. I really do. That’s the way in which we are sharing our present and our future memories, and sometimes when I am alone and I go through my reel in my phone or the folder in the cloud where all my photographs are uploaded, I enjoying smiling remembering how I felt when that picture was taken and how the other people reacted, or what we said. Memories and nothing else.

My sister was the key component in making this last week unforgettable, and she took some damn good photographs with me and my kids. Some were funny, some were silly, all of them were amazing and invaluable to me.

Life is amazing, and I am a lucky, lucky lady that I have so many loving people who share their time with me and who make me feel happy and loved day in and day out.

Love you all. Here’s to many more special days in our future…